How to Say ‘I Told You So’ in a More Effective Way
It’s hard to think of four words more smug—and infuriating—than “I told you so.”
“It feels like you’re delighting in the other person’s misfortune,” says Jordan Conrad, founder and clinical director at Madison Park Psychotherapy in New York. “It feels equivalent to saying ‘I would never be in your position because I’m smarter than you,’ or ‘If you only just let me run your life for you, you would be better off.’ Those are pretty unpleasant messages to send.”
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Yet sometimes, it’s helpful to drive home the idea that a little foresight could have predicted the outcome—albeit in a kinder, more effective way. First, though, consider your relationship with the person and what you’re trying to get out of the interaction, Conrad advises: Is it just to boost your own ego and knock them down a notch? Or do you genuinely believe it’s a learning opportunity that could make them happier and more successful in the future? If you work alongside someone who could ben..