The Worst Things to Say to Someone With Anxiety—And What to Say Instead
When you’re trying to comfort someone trapped in an avalanche of anxious thoughts, it’s best to prioritize “presence over advice,” says Jaime Fleischer, director of therapy at Headspace, “and connection over correction.”
Too often, people try to rush their friend into feeling better, dismiss or minimize their concerns, or offer unsolicited advice, all of which can exacerbate the person’s already heightened emotions. It’s better to focus on being calm, compassionate, and nonjudgmental, and brainstorming ways to support your anxious friend.
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We asked experts to share the worst things you can say to someone with anxiety—plus what actually helps them.
“Just calm down.”
If you want to stay on an anxious person’s good side, don’t tell them to calm down. It’s infuriating in part because it minimizes their experience and implies they have control over something that’s largely involuntary. “I’ve never met an anxious person who hasn’t tried every trick in the..